Author: Betty-Anne Van Rees

Changing: Where Do We Begin?

Changing: Where Do We Begin?

Posted by | Sep 30, 2020 | |

When people reach out to us for help, they have an agenda. So often, that agenda has to do with a troubling behavior—they unleash anger destructively, can be paralyzed by fear, are addicted to a substance, or they sin sexually. More often than not, they know their choices and experiences are less than God’s good purposes for them; that God sees their behavior as sin or doubt-fueled suffering, and they feel guilt, shame, or burden, and want relief. And we want it for them. This is where we can go so desperately wrong. Continue Reading →

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Does Your Biblical Counsel Reflect God’s Invitation?

Does Your Biblical Counsel Reflect God’s Invitation?

Posted by | Jun 29, 2020 | |

As people who are prone to strive for things that will give us satisfaction, even our striving after God, the invitation of Isaiah 55 captures us. It’s a hand—not just any hand, but the hand of God—extended, offering satisfaction of the deepest kind. Instead of striving, we are invited to listen and learn and live. There is no one outside the reach of this invitation, though it can appear to be outside one’s grasp. The difference lies simply in a willingness to cease striving (Ps. 46:10), to come and to hear. Continue Reading →

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The Ineffectual Work of Human Anger

Posted by | Apr 13, 2020 | |

The problem with anger is that it works. Do you want someone to comply with your expectations promptly? Let anger loose, and you are very likely to accomplish the task. But here is the problem with relationships that work this way: we “win the battle” but “lose the war,” one battle at a time. While this is a valuable discussion to consider in any relationship, its importance is particularly heightened in parent-child relationships where the potential for harm is greatest. Continue Reading →

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Shifting Baselines: How Cultural Changes Imperceptibly Create New Norms and How to Respond to Them

Posted by | Jan 6, 2020 | |

If you were an adult by the time the 1980s began, you remember a different world–a world without 24-hour live news coverage of the most tragic human events on the planet and a world before the terror of 9/11. Your social baseline consists of long hours of unsupervised playing as children and of any parent in the neighborhood stepping up to parent you when needed. Continue Reading →

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Shifting Baselines: How Cultural Changes Imperceptibly Create New Norms and How to Respond to Them

Posted by | Jan 6, 2020 | |

If you were an adult by the time the 1980s began, you remember a different world–a world without 24-hour live news coverage of the most tragic human events on the planet and a world before the terror of 9/11. Your social baseline consists of long hours of unsupervised playing as children and of any parent in the neighborhood stepping up to parent you when needed. Continue Reading →

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