Shaming your children is hypocritical. That, of course, is where you will always end up when you are trying to manipulate behavior. If, however, you deal with the heart, you will no longer be hypocritically distanced from your child. You can stand in solidarity with him and his struggles with selfishness. You can put your arm around him and say, “I understand what you are experiencing. I understand selfishness. I have my own struggles with being selfish.”
Please note: You are not excusing selfishness as okay since you are selfish too. Rather, you are simply identifying with this common struggle with sin. Not only do you understand the struggle, you know where to go with your struggles with selfishness. You know that you must take these struggles to Jesus Christ where you can find forgiveness and grace to help in your time of need.
Jesus Christ has experienced the same kind of temptations that you and your child experience (Heb. 4:14–16). Though he never failed, you often fail in these temptations and must continually seek grace and strength from Jesus Christ. You know that he is able to forgive and to cleanse you (1 Jn. 1:9), and that he is
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