We recently had a difficult family meeting. Our kids had been acting disrespectfully, so we sat down in the living room to talk it out. Hard words were shared; tears were shed. Though it was not a comfortable confrontation, the kids knew we shared our hard words in love. How? Because that same living room is normally where we play games, wrestle, read Scripture, sing songs, dance, and tell stories. That room is known mostly for enjoyable love. So when we sit down to have unenjoyable conversations, they may not like it, but they never doubt our love for them.
A healthy church should be like a living room. What normally marks its relationships is thoughtful encouragement (Heb. 3:13), Scriptural instruction (Rom. 15:14), hopeful songs (Eph. 5:19), glad thanksgiving (1 Thess. 5:18), weeping together in grief (Rom. 12:15), joyful testimonies (Ps. 66:16), generous hospitality (1 Pt. 4:9), and welcoming fellowship (Rom. 15:7). When churches are rich with this sort of love, it strengthens relational equity that supports hard conversations.
In recent months, our church has needed this kind of strength. We’ve had lots of particularly difficult conversations. By difficult, I mean we’ve needed to say hard truths to people we
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