“Shame on you!” “I’m ashamed of you.”

Sound familiar? Maybe these words take you back to your childhood. Maybe you hear them coming from your own mouth. 

You might have noticed that shame is not a popular concept in our culture. I recently watched a video on evangelism. As the pastor spoke with a wide range of students on a college campus, there was a consistent response: the avoidance of shame. “I’m a good person.” “It’s not my place to judge.” The world has made a religion out of avoiding shame. Shame is the ultimate enemy. 

The other day my 9-year-old tattled on his little brother. “He’s being stubborn!” The 5-year-old immediately defended himself. “It was an accident!” (Is that even possible? The questions that keep me up at night…) 

It’s hard for us – and our kids – to own up to our sinfulness. Nobody wants to feel bad.  How can we be gospel-centered parents in an anti-shame culture? 

If we took our cue from the world, we could treat shame as the ultimate enemy. We don’t want our kids to feel bad, do we? Why not protect them from that horrible feeling? We could call their sin an accident (like my 5-year-old did), or


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