I might have thought that the long, steady march of sanctification would mean I’d only see progress against sins, struggles, and temptations. But I am learning that there may be some areas where I actually experience a kind of regress. One of these is anxiety, for the older I get, the more I find myself prone to it. I dare say I may struggle with worry more now than I have at any other time in life.
What’s especially frustrating and disheartening is that much of what I worry about and much of what keeps me up at night is minor and inconsequential. One night last week I laid awake for hours fretting about what pants to wear for an occasion that’s coming up. Another night I tossed and turned endlessly as my mind raced about a minor decision I’ll need to make six months from now. There are some big things too, of course. But so many small things. And together they highlight just how weak I really am.
I guess I should’t be surprised. I’ve often studied Ecclesiastes and especially chapter 12. I’ve often expressed my view that this chapter contains a kind of universal
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