Children quickly learn that tears are powerful motivators. Tears bring sympathy and comfort. However, tears also bring the opportunity for manipulation and deceit. Learning to discern the difference is a huge challenge for parents.
For example, a young child wants to play with a toy that his brother has. He feels sorry for himself and tries to grab the toy. When his attempt fails, he begins to cry. Amazingly, the tears allow him to possess the coveted toy. This little boy has just learned a lesson he will not forget. “Tears can bring me what I want.” Then he learns that tears will get him out of responsibilities that are unpleasant to him. Finally, he completes the trifecta by learning that tears can actually make others feel sorry for him. This boy has earned his master’s degree in sorrowful manipulation.
Are all tears just manipulative attempts to control others? Of course not! Tears can be a good and appropriate response. The question is how do you tell the difference between legitimate sorrow and manipulative sorrow?
Esau was a man motivated by an unhealthy self-interest. One day when he was hungry he followed his growling stomach and sold his inheritance
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