I recently spoke on the phone with a friend. Let’s call him Tim.
Tim told me a sad story. He had served as an associate pastor for a senior pastor who had acted in seriously unethical ways, deeply hurting Tim and his family. He told me about the sobbing, the physical sickness due to stress, the loss of close friends, and eventually the decision to move away.
Tim reached out to me after he listened to a podcast in which my wife and I chatted about when a pastor hurts you. Tim wasn’t the only one who reached out to us. Since releasing the podcast, Christa and I have heard from several people who are reeling from the pain of a pastor’s bad decisions or self-centered behavior.
I wish it weren’t true, but it is: sometimes pastors hurt people.
As a pastor myself, I’m reminded of decisions I’ve made which were insensitive and hurtful. Of course, every relationship involves disagreements, disappointments, misunderstandings, and hurt. It’s not just a pastor thing. It’s a human thing.
A pastor’s character should never be judged by how “nice” he is. The apostle Paul himself recounts a “painful visit” he had with the Corinthian church.
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