How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
Psalm 13:1–2
Loss is not always sudden, like it was for Job (Job 1:13–19). Sometimes it is gradual. Sometimes it comes in stages. The same goes for grief.
Years ago, soon after my mom died within three hours after a brain hemorrhage, a friend described it to me this way: “Paul, your loss was sudden, instant, unexpected. Ours was gradual.
Dementia stole our dad from us little by little. It felt like we said a thousand goodbyes before
he physically left us.”
This difference is important to recognize, because, just as loss can take place over the space of time, so can your grief. Grief is common to all, but also unique. Certainly, there are similarities, but no two people grieve in exactly the same way, or according to the same timetable. Rarely, if ever, does the process look the same. Perhaps a friend seems to have gotten over his grief more quickly than you. If so, be careful. Comparing
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