Editors Note: This article is written by BCC Counselor, Dr. Donna Hart as part of our series on Relational Health. In this series, our counselors are sharing biblical principles to strengthen and improve all kinds of relationships.
None of us look forward to the experience of criticism. Criticism can tear us down, and over time it can cause us to think we are unlikeable failures. Feedback is received well when someone says they think we are doing good in one area but see where we could improve.
The text of Ephesians 4:25-32 gives us some clear rules for governing our communication. One of the rules, from Ephesians 4:29, is “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” The essential lesson of this verse is to resolve a problem rather than attack a person with words.
Criticism is never useful. It usually causes a person to become defensive and strive to justify themselves. Dale Carnegie once said, “Criticism is dangerous; because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”
B.F. Skinner, the
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