When we think about domestic abuse, we tend to think about acts of physical violence. We picture women with bruises and black eyes, or worse. While this is an all-too-common occurrence, this assumption about domestic abuse causes us to miss the fact that the primary weapon abusers use against their victims is not their fists but their words. Does this surprise you? It’s true. Abusers seek to dominate and control their victims and most of that is done through conversations that coerce, manipulate, and pressure them into compliance. Abusers believe that their wives owe them unwavering and unquestioning allegiance and anything less usually results in harsh retaliation. This is clearly sinful and a far cry from a godly marriage based on mutual self-sacrifice. So, why do we, and even the victims of this type of abuse, often fail to see it?
Consider Lucy. Her husband never raised a hand against her. He used his words to harm her, instead. Over time, she came to believe that her husband was right to withdraw his attention, affection, and financial support from her. It was only for her “good” that he kept her from friends and family as they were a “bad influence.”
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