by Ann Maree Goudzwaard
Earlier this year, a friend came to town to take a class at a local seminary. She knew I was training as a domestic abuse advocate, so she asked if we could get together and talk about one of her counseling cases. When we met for breakfast, I sat quietly listening as she described the situation. I was stunned. I thought she was describing a case I had recently counseled. I remarked at the time that it didn’t matter if we were talking about an abusive situation on the west coast or the east coast; they were basically the same.
I read an article recently that was very helpful for putting that thought to words.[1] It described sweeping generalizations that can be observed across a wide spectrum of coercive controllers, and the thinking behind their behavior. While the article focused on behaviors, what I found most helpful was how it helped me understand the thought process of oppressors and the environment they create–albeit without using biblical terms. Some of those identifiers include:
The message in the home is that the man is more important than the woman and she exists to serve him.
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