I loathe disappointment.
I really don’t like being disappointed, but I’m a thousand times more averse to causing disappointment in others. The worst is when it hits me by surprise. When this happens, my inner world can come to a halt, and I can easily become fixated on it, analyzing what happened and how to address it.
My (Inadequate) Ministry to Myself
Here are some of the places I tend to go when I find I’ve hurt someone or let them down.
Where did I mess up, and how can I avoid doing it again? I start with assuming failure on my part and begin to retrace my steps to figure out where I went wrong, primarily for the sake of not repeating it. How did I let this happen, and how could I have been so insensitive, immature, or self-serving? Deep down, however, all these attempts to understand and prevent further damage feel like treading water in an ocean of humiliation and fear. They keep me afloat for now, but I wonder if I can do enough to keep from drowning.
Where is the other person being unfair, and how do I avoid being hurt by them again?
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