It is something you tend to hear a lot when you have endured a time of significant sorrow or suffering: “I know it’s nothing compared to yours, but…” We have a natural tendency to compare—to compare our experiences to another person’s and to rank or rate them accordingly. The person who has suffered the loss of a job feels awkward when speaking to someone who has suffered the loss of a spouse, the person who has suffered the loss of a parent to someone who has suffered the loss of a child.
Of course, the comparison can go two ways. It can be a comparison from the lesser to the greater where one person expresses their sorrow, but also insists that theirs must be smaller. “Who am I to grieve the loss of my job when you have lost your spouse?” Or it can be a comparison from the greater to the lesser, where someone expresses their sorrow in such a way that it makes another person’s seem wrong or inappropriate. “Who are you to grieve the loss of your mother when I have lost my daughter?”
Yet I am
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