To be quarrelsome is to be over-eager to fight, whether verbally, physically, or legally. Paul said that neither elders (1 Tim 1:6–7; 3:3; 2 Tim 2:23) nor congregations (Ti 3:2, 9; James 4:1–2) are to be quick to “throw down”. Yet Scripture commands to contend for the faith (Jude 3). So how do we tell the difference between fighting the good fight and just being an Argumentative Alex? Here are five quick questions to see if we’re quarrelsome.
Are we quick to fight for our rights, whether material or political? (Js 4:1; Titus 3:2). In Js 4, the coveting that leads to quarreling always starts with a comparison of self to others, where self seems to get the short end of the stick. Contentment in Christ quells that kind of quarrel. This goes politically as well (Titus 3:1-2). Contentment with political disappointments, sustained by a firm faith in God’s providence over politics, goes a long way to quelling a quarrelsome heart. Are we fighting over issues of conviction or conscience? Is this an essential doctrine like the divinity of Jesus, or substitutionary atonement? Or is this something we can disagree about with others yet still trust and worship Jesus together? Consult Andy Naselli’s little book Conscience: What It Is,
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