In Part 2, we looked at ways pastors can wisely care for abuse victims. The value of self-education was emphasized, along with the practice of thoughtful listening. In this post, we’ll look at ways to be Christlike in words and actions, and the appropriateness of building a care team for victims.
Tread carefully
We all make relational faux pas. We tease too hard, make hurtful assumptions, behave carelessly. But the damage is graver when you’re a spiritual authority, and the potential harm amplifies when you’re relating to someone with a traumatic past: a combat veteran, a rape victim, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Abuse victims need “care and compassion…love, safety, patience, and counseling,” write Justin and Lindsay Holcomb.[1] But, “unfortunately, many victims who reach out to churches in times of need receive blame, disbelief, suspicious questions, bad advice, platitudes, and shallow theology.” [2] Victim care requires care—reflection, wonderment, deep thinking, and some humble self-doubt. It is no place for pastors to shoot from the hip.
When counseling non-traumatized people, it may be totally appropriate to challenge them directly, or tell them they must do something: read a passage, pray aloud, look you in the eye, or attend
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